Yielding Modern Monasticism
The writings of Bishop Eric Varden, a Trappist bishop of Trondheim, together with the wisdom of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, resonate deeply with my seminary journey. Their reflections on study, hope, and divine love continually challenge me to examine the motivations behind my vocation. Seminary life is not merely about accomplishing responsibilities or attaining intellectual formation rather, it is a gradual transformation of the heart. Through prayer, study, and daily schedules, I am constantly reminded that every effort I make must ultimately lead me closer to my God who called me first in order to more authentically serve His Church.
One concrete example of this is how our director reminds us during examination periods that “the Church does not deserve anything less.” These words encourage me to move beyond mediocrity and to offer my best, not for recognition, but for the glory of God. This brings to mind the teaching of St. Bernard on the acquisition of knowledge: "There are those who seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge; that is curiosity. There are those who seek knowledge to be known by others; that is vanity. There are those who seek knowledge in order to serve; that is love." Thus, studying must lead to contemplation of truth, a journey and movement of heart from knowing to loving. To study not merely for grades or personal achievement, but so that one day I may better serve God’s people. Knowledge detached from love becomes empty, but learning rooted in love becomes charity.
Another insight that profoundly shapes my journey is St. Bernard’s reflection on God’s help. He reminds us that God’s help is not merely something we seek in moments of crisis, but the very reality that sustains our existence. God’s help is an attribute of his Being that keeps us in being. Christ’s words, “without me you can do nothing,” reveal a truth often forgotten in human weakness and pride. Seminary life constantly confronts me with my limits, whether in academics, apostolates, or personal struggles, and I realize how easy it is either to become self-sufficient or discouraged. Bernard’s warning about the three kinds of people estranged from hope: the self-reliant, the despairing, and those who presume upon God’s mercy, imprints as an examination of conscience. True hope lies not in trusting oneself nor in surrendering to discouragement, but in dwelling humbly within God’s sustaining help, rising again after every failure because His hand remains beneath us.
At the center of all these reflections is God’s love. St. Bernard’s words deeply move me: “The reason for loving God is God Himself, and the measure of love due to Him is immeasurable love.” God loves us first, and all authentic Christian life begins as a response to that love. This truth invites me to reflect on the motives behind my vocation and discipleship. Do I love God merely for His blessings, or do I seek to love Him for who He truly is? Bernard’s meditation reminds me that no worldly satisfaction can truly nourish the soul, for only God can fulfill the deepest desires of the human heart. The more I meditate on Christ’s Passion and Resurrection, the more I realize that God’s love is not abstract but personal and sacrificial.
St. Bernard’s teaching on the degrees of love gives me a deeper understanding of the spiritual journey. Human love often begins with self-interest, loving God because we need Him, yet grace slowly purifies this love until it becomes love for God’s own sake. The highest form of love, where one loves even oneself only for God, is not something achieved by effort alone, but a gift received through charity. As I continue my seminary journey, I recognize that my vocation is a journey of learning how to love rightly. Bishop Varden would always remind us: "Start by clearing some space in your life. It’s not a myth that modern life can be less hectic than we think. We don’t always have to be trapped in busyness.” Though I may still struggle with weakness and imperfection, I trust that God gradually enlarges the heart to love more deeply, until all human desires are transformed into a longing for Him who called me.
