Cultural Discourse About Love by Fr. Spitzer S.J.
Love (agape) may be defined as empathy for another leading to a unity with another whereby doing the good for the other is just as easy, if not easier than doing the good for the self. There are other notions of love, such as feelings of affection (in Greek, “storge”); friendship (in Greek, “philia”), and romantic love (in Greek, “eros”). Agape is a Level 3 and/or Level 4 virtue, because it is essentially contributive (seeking the good for the other). Inasmuch as dominant Level 1 seeks pleasure-materialistic satisfactions, and dominant Level 2 seeks ego-comparative satisfactions (and can even be narcissistic), these lower levels can come into conflict with agape. However, this group can experience the other kinds of love as specified below.
Level 1 – Since dominant Level 1 individuals are likely to subordinate contributive ideals to pleasure-materialistic satisfaction, it is unlikely that they will pursue agape. They may not even be able to understand the value of agape. These individuals’ experience of love generally focuses on feelings of affection (storge) and feelings of romantic love (eros); they do not generally see these feelings as serving the greater end of agape. These feelings tend to be ends in themselves. Persons in this group also form significant friendships (philia), but these friendships tend to be what Aristotle termed “friendships of pleasure,” or “friendships of utility;” not friendships arising out of empathy (which lead to doing the good for the other as if one were doing a good for oneself). In light of all this, it is unlikely that persons in this group will be able to understand and appreciate Principles 5-10. They may be able to appreciate Principle 4 (nonmaleficence) as a necessity to maintain appropriate social order so that pleasure-materialistic satisfactions will not be interrupted.
Level 2 – Dominant Level 2 individuals may experience occasional moments of empathy, and may actually desire to make a positive difference in the world; but their preoccupation with achieving ego-comparative advantage tends to overshadow their positive sensibilities and motivations. When ego-comparative advantage becomes obsessive, it leads to narcissism which almost completely precludes empathy and contributive motivations. In this respect, the dominant Level 2 may be less successful at agape than a dominant Level 1, because the dominant Level 2 could actually destroy agape in order to achieve ego-comparative satisfaction. Like the dominant Level 1, this person’s experience of love focuses on feelings of affection (storge) and romantic feelings (eros). These feelings of eros can be tied into a narcissistic need to be loved, and persons in this group can mistakenly think that they are practicing agape, when in reality, they are simply appreciating the admiration or romantic love that others have for them. This is not to say that “being loved” is inconsistent with agape, because it is quite consistent so long as it is accompanied by genuine empathy for the other whereby doing the good for the other is just as easy as doing the good for oneself. Persons in this group also focus on friendships of pleasure and utility, and on friendships of what Aristotle called “intellectual companionship” (frequently to reinforce their sense and reputation of being intelligent and elite). When the ego-comparative identity becomes obsessive, it can lead not only to narcissism, but also to elitism which may produce a subconscious contempt (and even hatred) for perceived inferiors. This could lead to contempt for Principles 5- 10, which may be seen as elevating inferiors to an undeserved status which entitles them to undeserved rewards. This group may be quite unaware of the narcissism and elitism underlying this contempt, because they may feel that they subscribe to the “correct” positions in other important areas of justice (such as alleviating hunger or disease). If a genuine feeling of agape (authentic, empathetic, self-sacrificial love) truly underlies this concern for justice, then these individuals can be persuaded to move to a consistent Level 3 position of love (which would include the unborn, the elderly, the physically and mentally challenged, etc.).
Level 3 – The ideal of love for these individuals is to make agape primary, while allowing the other three loves (storge, eros, and philia) to reinforce, enhance, and be directed by agape in ways that are appropriate to them. This can be very difficult to accomplish, because people do not achieve the ideal of Level 3 love in an instantaneous fashion. The process is filled with new beginnings, fits and starts, setbacks, slow progress, frustrations, and a myriad of other challenges. Thus, a person trying to move from dominant Level 2 to dominant Level 3 may be sorely tempted to be narcissistic, to place being loved above loving others, and to place romantic gratification over authentic empathy and self-gift at the very moment they are trying to prioritize agape. This schizophrenia can be exceedingly frustrating and even discouraging. However, the pursuit of Level 3 love is worth the effort, because it eventually alerts us to our moments of inauthenticity, and helps us to deepen the authenticity of agape in our lives. Every frustrating setback, when dealt with patiently and maturely, produces both of these beneficial effects.
Changes in external circumstances (such as being promoted, acquiring a Ph.D., gaining increases in status or financial resources) can also lead to setbacks because they can tempt individuals to bask in their new Level 2 glory and, as a consequence, move away from authentic empathy and self-gift. Once again, perseverance is the key. When one discovers oneself reverting to a dominant Level 2 view of love, one must again rekindle one’s sense of the intrinsic goodness, mystery, and lovability of every individual (inducing empathy), and one’s sense of nobility for making an optimal positive difference with one’s life in the world. Every setback which is appropriately redressed will again produce authenticity and depth of agape. When Level 3 love grows in depth and authenticity, Principles 4-10 will be viewed as selfevident, undisputed, and indispensable. It would be unthinkable and unbearable for someone with authentic empathy and contributive spirit to advocate unnecessary harm to anyone (Principle 4), to use unjust means to attain just ends (Principle 5), to value human beings as anything less than their fully developed potential (Principle 6), to deny any human being the rights that belong to them by their very nature and existence (Principle 7), to put one group’s liberty or property rights above the right to live (Principle 8), and to lay undue burdens on one group in order to produce new freedoms for others (Principle 9).
Level 4 – These individuals are generally motivated by a recognition that God loves them in an unconditional and perfectly authentic way. This recognition stems from their awareness of the intrinsic goodness, mystery, and lovability of others, the goodness of agape as the primary meaning of life, and perfect agape as being integral to the Creator of human nature.5 The recognition of God’s unconditional love for these individuals generally produces a loving response from them which tends to be reinforced by a felt awareness of God’s presence and guiding force. A relationship with this unconditionally loving God produces a call to evergreater authenticity and humility which deepens Level 3 love for neighbor. Thus, Level 4 love of God deepens the practice of Level 3 love of neighbor, which, in turn, deepens the Level 4 love of God. Additionally, Level 4 love of God alerts us to an awareness that we are not the only ones who are sacred (called to perfect love with God). Every other human being is also sacred, and therefore inestimably precious and lovable to the unconditionally loving Creator. Thus, Level 4 love of God calls Level 3 love of neighbor to perfection. It deepens authenticity and heartfelt commitment which, in turn, makes more unthinkable and unbearable any violation of Principles 4-10.
As with Level 3 love, Level 4 love is not instantaneous. It too takes time to gain in strength and authenticity, and this process will be filled with frustrations, challenges, and setbacks. However, as with Level 3 love, every setback, dealt with patiently and maturely, can be the pathway to continued growth in agape.
