Self Esteem through Humility by Opus Dei
SUMMA
1. Recognizing our greatness- The human being is the “only creature on earth that God has loved for its own sake.
- The serene acceptance of our own identity shapes our way of being and acting in society. It also fosters self-confidence and lessens fear and shyness, and helps prevent us from acting rashly; it makes it easier for us to be open to others and to new situations while fostering optimism and cheerfulness.
2. Sound role models
- We might overvalue ourselves after attaining goals that some people seem to appreciate. Or the reverse is also possible: we might undervalue ourselves for not having reached certain goals or because some people don’t seem to appreciate us.
- These mistaken appraisals are due in large measure to paying too much attention to those who evaluate people exclusively in terms of what they achieve or possess.
- To avoid such risks, it is worthwhile asking ourselves what our reference points are in our professional, family and social life and whether these are compatible with a Christian perspective.
3. Self-knowledge with God’s light
- It starts by overcoming a purely subjective perspective reflected in expressions such as “how I see things,” “in my opinion,” “it seems to me,” making room for other considerations. If it is impossible for us to even know exactly what our own voice sounds like or what our physical appearance is for others, how much more do we need to admit that we are not the best judges in assessing our own personality traits.
- Self-knowledge is also gained by our interaction with those around us, although we have to be on guard against a superficial environment that can hinder self-reflection and make it harder for us to get to know ourselves truly.
- Therefore we need to foster personal reflection and ask ourselves how God sees us. Prayer is the best moment for this, since while getting to know God we also get to know ourselves with the help of his light.
- We need to be selective in who we pay more attention to, in keeping with what Sacred Scripture says: Better attend to a wise man’s reprimand than listen to a song sung by a fool.
- We need to do all we can to make sure our words reflect consideration for each person we encounter, seeing each as a child of God.
4. Self-acceptance: God loves us as we are
- When we reflect upon our own way of being in God’s light, we are helped to accept ourselves as we are: with our talents and virtues, but also with the defects that we humbly acknowledge.
- True self-esteem implies recognizing that we are not all equal and that other people may be more intelligent, more musical, more athletic.
- We all possess good qualities we can develop, and even more importantly, we are all God’s children. Here lies the key to genuine self-acceptance, the positive sense of the self-esteem we need, rejecting any undue comparisons with others that could lead to sadness.
5. Facing success and failure
- Temporal events and achievements are seen in their true perspective, in the light of eternity. Thus, while happy to see we have been successful in some area, we also know that what is truly important is how it has helped us grow in holiness.
- At the same time, admitting that external obstacles and our own imperfections limit our achievements helps shape our self-esteem, grounds personal maturity and opens the door to genuine learning.
- Growing in true knowledge requires recognizing our deficiencies and being ready to glean positive experiences from whatever happens to us.
- “You say you’ve failed! We never fail. You placed your confidence wholly in God. And you did not neglect any human means. Convince yourself of this truth: your success—this time—was to fail. Give thanks to our Lord, and try again!"
- We are now ready to set out upon the way of the Cross, which teaches us the paradox of strength in weakness, greatness in poverty, growth in humiliation, with all its extraordinary effectiveness.
6. Acting with confidence and a readiness to rectify
- Self-confidence is more secure when it rests on knowing we are God’s beloved children and not on the certitude of attaining a success that often eludes us. This conviction enables us to accept the risk involved in any decision, to overcome the paralysis of insecurity and to be open to new situations.
- Fear of failure will not make him give up in his effort to do good.”
- Given our human limitations and our need to grow in self-knowledge, rectifying means a personal enrichment that leads both to an increase in our self-confidence and in our trust in those around us. Those who entrust themselves into the hands of their heavenly Father rest secure, since in everything God works for good with those who love him.
7. An indispensable virtue
- Self-esteem ultimately flourishes under the shelter of humility, “for this is the virtue which helps us to recognize, at one and the same time, both our wretchedness and our greatness.”
- When this attitude is missing, problems related to self-esteem may easily arise. But when humility is present, it brings with it a realism that enables us to evaluate ourselves correctly.
- Humility engenders an interior atmosphere that allows us to know ourselves as we truly are. And it moves us to sincerely seek the support of others and also to lend them ours. In the end, each and every one of us needs God, for in him we live and move and have our being.
- He is a merciful Father who constantly watches over us.
- What security and trust we see in the life of Mary Most Holy! Our Lady could say that the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name because she knew very well the lowliness of his handmaid. In Mary, humility and knowing the greatness of her own calling are wonderfully combined.
